Success Is a Soft Skill (8/8/2025)

Do you suffer from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)?

Ever felt anxious ordering dinner at a restaurant — “I think I want the salmon, but what if the pasta comes out and I regret not getting that instead?”

I feel this version of FOMO all the time. Just ask my husband — I regularly make him promise to share his meal with me, just to hedge potential disappointment. Even at restaurants we’ve been to dozens of times, where I know how the salmon is prepared and have loved it before, the decision never comes down to logic or data. In the end, it’s an emotional decision - gut instinct. For me, dining out is an art, not a science. So is financial success. 

It took me many years to appreciate the common misconception that being smart will equate to financial success. Often people assume that if you’re good at math, or Excel, or read a bunch of finance books that you’ll be able to attain wealth. But in reality, financial success is a soft skill. 

Achieving financial success - getting wealthy, and staying wealthy - comes from your mindset. It’s about habits, emotional regulation, awareness, boundaries and values. Money is about feelings. And that’s what makes it so challenging. 

We all make financial mistakes, and the truth is — the ones we make with a calculator are a hell of a lot easier to learn from than the ones we make with our hearts.

For example, applying for a bunch of store credit cards with 35% APR when you’re 22 is not a great idea. Many young people may do this out of ignorance, but it’s a type of financial mistake that can be easy to learn from and avoid making again in the future. “Credit card interest compounds daily?!?! OMFG - I’m definitely not doing THAT again!”

Emotional mistakes though….

🛍️ “I spent $600 online shopping after a breakup and then avoided checking my credit card balance.”
😬 “I keep putting off opening that investment account because thinking about money makes me anxious.”
💸 “I said yes to the bachelorette trip to Mexico even though I couldn’t afford it, because I didn’t want to feel left out.”

These aren’t math mistakes. They’re emotional decisions, and they’re way more common than we admit.

So if you sometimes feel like you’re bad with money, know that it’s not because you’re not smart, it’s because you’re human. The solution isn’t to listen to Dave Ramsey or read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. The way to get better at the soft skill of money is to learn to pay more attention to your values, goals and mental health. Start by building awareness around the feelings that drive your decisions. Here are a few questions to check in with yourself regularly:

🪞 Am I spending money to feel better about something else that feels out of my control?

💬 What story am I telling myself about this purchase — and is it actually true?

📆 Am I rushing this financial decision because I’m uncomfortable sitting in uncertainty?

👀 Would I make the same choice if no one else knew about it?

💡 Is this decision aligned with my goals, or just my mood today?

The goal is not to make perfect decisions, it’s to make conscious ones.